The Airport Song
(guitarist on stage, singing. Disheveled traveler staggers in, with bags) (Tune: "Workin on the railroad")
I bet you had to get up early, to get here just at six I bet you’re feelin’ kinda sleepy, without your caffeine fix
I hope you had to take a taxi Those guys need the dough Or, if you parked the car here Seventeen a day, you know
(singer pauses, looks at audience, says, in normal voice:) “Who am I, you ask? WELL, I am the most important person that you are gonna meet today….” (Segue into song as below:) I love workin at the airport, all the live long day I love workin at the airport, I work for the TSA I love to look into your luggage And search you whenever I choose I love workin at the airport Now take off those damn shoes!
Show me your ID, your ticket and your keys Your wallet and your belt, & your cell phone, please Take that laptop out, there’s a bomb in it no doubt Now raise your hands and spread your knees!
I’m gonna feel you all over, I’ll touch you in places you hate hate hate I’m gonna feel you all over, It’ll be like a date! Now get your things and move on through Your security check is done We at TSA thank you – Isn’t flying fun!
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