The Bumper Stickers Song

My son Dwayne is the Student of the Month
At the Harold C. Crittenden Junior High
I’m so proud of my son Dwayne
That I could almost cry – I could almost cry!

My kid Snake is the Inmate of the Month
At the Alameda County Juvenile Hall
I’m so sicka that SOB -  I think I’ll have a beer.

My dog “Puff” is the Poodle of the Month
At the “No Bad Dogs Obedience School”
I’m so proud of my poodle “Puff”
I’m grinning like a fool – I’m grinning like a fool!

My dog “Spike” is the Pit-bull of the Month
At Mad Dog Mulligan’s Bar and Grill
I’m so proud of my dog “Spike” -  I think I’ll have a beer.

My Daughter Beth’s the Ballerina of the Month
At the Isadora Duncan School of Dahnce
I’m so proud of my little Beth
I almost wet my pahnce – I nearly wet my pahnce!

Well, Snake and Spike can whup yer Dwayne
Kiss yer daughter and KILL yer dawg
I’m so sick’a your bumper stickers
I think I’ll trash yer car!

© 2022 Adrienne B. Ward. All Rights Reserved