The Airport Song

(guitarist on stage, singing. Disheveled traveler staggers in, with bags)
 (Tune: "Workin on the railroad")

I bet you had to get up early, to get here just at six
I bet you’re feelin’ kinda sleepy, without your caffeine fix

I hope you had to take a taxi
Those guys need the dough
Or, if you parked the car here
Seventeen a day, you know

(singer pauses, looks at audience, says, in normal voice:)
 “Who am I, you ask? WELL, I am the most important person
 that you are gonna meet today….” (Segue into song as below:)

I love workin at the airport, all the live long day
I love workin at the airport, I work for the TSA

I love to look into your luggage
And search you whenever I choose
I love workin at the airport
Now take off those damn shoes!

Show me your ID, your ticket and your keys
Your wallet and your belt, & your cell phone, please
Take that laptop out, there’s a bomb in it no doubt
Now raise your hands and spread your knees!

I’m gonna feel you all over,
I’ll touch you in places you hate hate hate
I’m gonna feel you all over,
It’ll be like a date!

Now get your things and move on through
Your security check is done
We at TSA thank you –
Isn’t flying fun!

© 2022 Adrienne B. Ward. All Rights Reserved